It’s been quite sometime since I’ve written an original composition. And since I’m feeling inspired, I might as well make one for my thirty-five years of fabulous existence.
Thirty-five. That’s three and a half decade embodiment of memories and choices, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, important and wasted, all leading to the life I am living. All creating the happy “me” I am today.
Happy. Big word. On my last birthday, I posted that my secret to staying young is to always find a reason to be happy. Nowadays, it’s easier to get angry and to feel sad. We complain more. We blame everyone else except ourselves and then, we blame the situation when there’s no one else to blame. The world we’re living in is fucked-up. It’s cruel and it’s not god-damn forgiving to naivety. Innocence is scarred and intelligence, insulted. So yeah, happiness, nowadays, may be superficial and very much over-rated.
I am no hypocrite. I am not as goody-two-shoes as most people think I am. I can be insensitive to someone else’s feelings. I can be indifferent to some pressing issues. I just don’t care enough or worry enough to care except if it concerns me. I can be selfish and arrogant and vain just like every rotting soul in this world. And these palpable traits are enough to make a person cruel, to make me cruel. Cruel enough to not be given the right to be happy. But who’s gonna give me, or worse, deny me, that right to be happy? Is it you, my dear reader? Is it the person who wronged me or the person I, myself, wronged? Is it the person who broke my heart or the person, I, myself, left heart-broken? Is it my government? Maybe, My company? My friends? My family? Can anybody really give or even deny anybody the right to be happy?
My answer to that question is a No. I decide when and how to be happy. I decide what are the things that will make me happy – a good movie, a playful cat, a thank you compliment, a nice blouse, a warm hug, a good blended coffee, a fun conversation. It’s my choice, my own prerogative, my own will, regardless if others say I can’t. And it’s yours, too. In this world of utter chaos, we are responsible for finding our own center. We are all messed up individuals, but we are responsible to find our own sanity amidst the messiest battles of our lives. We are not perfect, but we are responsible for molding our dirty chunks of imperfections to bright crystals of happiness.
It’s never easy. Sometimes even when you choose to be happy, you’ll still end up hurting people. And while not everyone will agree, I think it’s okay. You will never be everyone’s cup of tea anyway. Like any other intense emotion, happiness is contagious. So if you channel happiness, instead of anger or animosity, then maybe this slowly-rotting world can still be saved, after all. But don’t fake happiness, it’s just equally saddening and spiteful. Be genuine. Find true happiness in whatever form for however long you need to, yeah? So, fo now, smile for me, will yah? 😉